Cynical Ponderings on Fairytales

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FAIRY TALES SUCK. That is all.

No, but seriously. This is something I've wondered for a while, nor am I the first or will be the last to think these things. Recently, I reread one of my favorite books, Ella Enchanted, on a whim. I got it when I was in 3rd grade and have loved it ever since. It's a truly refreshing take on the story Cinderella. When I was little, I didn't even realize it was Cinderella, but maybe because I wasn't that bright. I don't know. You guys might know the title Ella Enchanted from the Disney movie with Anne Hathaway. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Anne Hathaway and the movie was cute and clever in it's own right, but please, PLEASE, do NOT compare that movie to the book. Do not. I will hurt you. They are two very separate things. The book is really much more complex, romantic, and funny than a "kids" book should be. It deals with a girl, Ella, who is given the gift of obedience and her quest to break the spell. Along the way, she meets Prince Char and they become friends. After a series of adventures, she's stuck with her odious step mother and sisters and she writes to Char while he's abroad. This is where one of my favorite exchanges happen:

Dear Ella,

        Impatience is not usually my weakness. But your letters torment me. They make me long to saddle my horse and ride to Frell [their city], where I would make you explain yourself. They are playful, interesting, thoughtful, and (occasionally) serious. I'm overjoyed to receive them, yet they bring misery. You say little of your daily life; I have no idea how you occupy yourself. I don't mind; I enjoy guessing at the mystery. But what I really long to know you do not tell either: what you feel, although I've given you hints by the score of my regard. You like me. You wouldn't waste time or paper on a being you didn't like. But I think I've loved you since we met at your mother's funeral. I want to be with you forever and beyond, but you write that you are too young to marry, or too old or too short or too hungry--until I crumple your letters up in despair, only to smooth them out again for a twelfth reading, hunting for hidden meanings. Father asks frequently in his letters whether I fancy any Ayorthanian [country where he's at] young lady or any in our acquaintance at home. I say no. I suppose I'm confessing another fault: pride. I don't want him to know I love if my affections are not returned. You would charm him, and Mother too. They would be yours completely. As I am. What a beautiful bride you'll be, whomever you marry at whatever age. And what a queen if I am the man! Who has your grace? Your expression? Your voice? I could extol your virtues endlessly, but I want you to finish reading and answer me quickly. Today I cannot write of Ayortha or my doings or anything. I can only post this and wait.

Love (it is such relief to pen the world), love, love--Char
 
That last line is my favorite. OK, tell me you didn't sigh with envy? Only me? Great. Now, explain to me this: how could this be considered poisonous for a young, naive 3rd grade girl? By the way they make it sound that any relationship will come out like this or that any guy will write you something like that or that it's OK if you write something like this to a boy! Guess what, little 3rd  grade me, it doesn't work that way. And sometimes I STILL have to remind myself of that in present day. This completely unrealistic portrayal of love has made me very disappointed in life. Sure, you can say that's my own fault for being so damn romantic, but you know that's not true. Disney has easily made bank of teaching little girls to wait for Prince Charming. Go take a listen to Sara Bareilles' song "Fairytale" to get a hint of what I'm getting at:

Cinderella's on the bedroom floor, she's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
But Mr. Charming don't come home anymore, and she forgets why she came here

Sing it, girl. All I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't be instilling these ideas into young girls. It really can affect them. It's screwed up many a relationship of mine. How? By expecting too much. Like Twilight! You hear these girls wanting an Edward and breaking up with their boyfriends because they're not sophisticated or insanely committed. They're teenage guys. The only thing they're committed to is porn and xbox. We girls know this, but still! We're caught up in the fantasy of the possibility of having the love that these characters have, of having that happily ever after. Now, I'm not saying that we should all become sluts and lead our lives like those in Gossip Girl, but we DO need to teach realistic love, not idealistic. It hurts, but in the end, it'll be so much better.