Who's Responsible for Death?

I've just read an article on Troy Davis, a man who has escaped the lethal injection narrowly several times, but still remains on Death Row due to him being black. After reading this I was just so angry and sick that after all this time WE'RE STILL THERE. We're STILL at that point where the color of your skin can determine what kind of a person you are. It is 2011! And we still judge each other by unimportant factors. No matter if your white, black, Hispanic, gay, lesbian, poor, rich, you shouldn't have to die because someone didn't like your uncontrollable circumstance. They should dislike you for you actions or your character. This man has had serious doubts on whether he's innocent or not and most of the evidence or lack there of tend to point to innocent yet he could be dead soon. Just because he's black. Tell me that's fair. Please explain to me how that is the epitomy of legal justice. Please. Politicians in favor of the death penalty use the argument that the injection should be left for the "worst of the worst". But, is any human even entitled to decide the fate of another? You can bring up Osama Bin Laden and Sadamn Hussein, tell me there were monsters who killed masses of people. That's true. But, we as a people turned into monsters when we decided to CELEBRATE death. Cheer. Flood the streets and set off fireworks. Because someone died. To me it's as if your close enemy died and you popped a bottle of champagne. Would you actually do that if you actually knew the person, even if only as a nemessis or hurtful being? Murder is a hard thing to justify, folks. Wars are even harder. In the end, does I really benefit people? Yeah, maybe, centuries from now when they're read in a history book. But now? We just get some land, "pride", and a lot of dead bodies. Does it really work to get "an eye for an eye"? Especially when a lot of times it's based on the most senseless "principles" or ideas? Please explain your rational to me and I'll gladly listen. But, unless someone can make sense of all this, I'll just sit back and wonder why.

The 17 Day Diet- Day 14

Today I actually felt full for once! YAAAY! Hopefully that doesn't mean that I gained any pounds...I'll see tomorrow morning. Breakfast was a hefty one, mostly because I didn't want to just leave a bunch of yolks in egg shells. I had 3 eggs in total, that means 3 yolks and 1 part of the whites. Crazy, huh? I added some salt and 2 cups of almond milk to complement the meal. Afterwards, I ate a black plum, because I always want to take advantage of the fact that I can eat fruits before 2. I always seem to crave fruits at night, which pisses me off. For lunch, I finally got my Chipotle fix! I had a bowl with chicken, black beans, corn, a LITTLE bit of sour cream, cheese, tomatoes, and LOTS of lettuce. Freaking delicious. I actually felt bloated after that! After that delicious lunch, my mom, brother, and I went off to Hollywood blvd where the tourists and freaks are. I got to go to this great place called Bettie Page which sells 50's style pin up dresses! I had a blast. Anyhoo, after walking around, my mom was craving some yogurt, but the place she found was some local place. They only had 3 flavors and didn't have any nutritional information. I passed on the yogurt. Actually not as hard as it sounds. I wasn't that hungry and if I was gonna splurge on yogurt, it was gonna be Yogurtland all the way. For dinner at home, I brewed me a cup of chamomile tea with honey and lime and a cup of almond silk milk. That was all I really needed! Chipotle really hit the spot.

Today's weight: 122.8 lbs

Chivalry is Dead...Because of Me.

Chivalry is dead because of me. I only state this fact because I am just REALLY awkward when it comes to guys or boyfriends doing something nice for me. Yes, I LOVE it when a guy opens the door for me or opens the car door for me, but then I feel compelled to leave the door open for him when he walks in or feel weird just sitting there as he walks around the car just to open the door when I could've done it in 5 seconds. Maybe it's a practical pig complex? I don't know. I mean, I'm so used to being the guys girl that when it comes time to embrace my inner princess, I seem more like Princess Fiona than Snow White. I also feel weird when a guy wants to pay for the meal or ticket. YES, I am secretly thanking God that you offered, because I'm totally short on cash right now, but I just feel bad! So, I offer to split it. And then they seem mortally offended that I even said those words! "Split it?! Is that how you think of me?!" ...Not really those exact words, but you get the drift. Or when I'm carrying something heavy. Unless it's furniture or 20 boxes of watermelons, it's OK, I can handle it. Then-BAM-"Here let me help you." "Aw, thank you, but I can do it..." "No, it's OK *take*." And then I'm left standing there empty handed as Prince Charming struggles. Or so that's how it seems in my mind.

I also seem to think guys have ulterior motives, as if they can't be nice JUST TO BE NICE! What? Preposterous! Ludicrous! These are teenage boys we're talking about! But, time and time again, whenever I bring up these issues with the guy at the time, they usually reply with "Well...isn't that what you want me to do?" or "But, I just want to be nice!" OR "I do it because I want to do it for you!". How very nice. Still, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Maybe it's the anti-Barbie approach that we've been instilled with since I was a little girl. It's a bit mixed. My parents have always said how a guy should "treat me right", but that I "can't take any shit." Hm...this leads me to my next point.

Now, here's the part where I feel I should get better therapy than the Internet. Sometimes I DO pay for both movie tickets, or the whole meal, or go around with 5 different bags on each arm while they chill. I get secretly pissed! Oh, so you DON'T see me here with the bill, taking forever to get my debit card, hoping you'll offer to split it? Oh, that's OK, I can carry 10 heavy bags real easily! Oh, hey, maybe YOU should by the popcorn, buddy! What is wrong with me?! CHOOSE A SIDE! Either it's yes, let him be the "man" in this  relationship or no, I wear the pants, albeit with some sparkles on it. It's just madness. (No, this is SPARTA! ...I'm hopeless.)

I think that I just want the guy to OFFER his chivalrous services so I can turn them down in that feminist way us modern girls love so much. Don't get me wrong, though, there are somethings I'll take in stride that a guy does. It's just that I'm a very awkward person in general and not very used to the whole "Oh, I'm a girl, too!" part. Maybe next time when a guy wants to be nice just to be nice, I'll just chill and enjoy the fact that a sweet guy wants to pull out a chair for me! ...Even if I end up falling on my butt.

The 17 Day diet- Day 13

Hm, today was interesting...because I ate lunch with my teacher! I mean, don't get me wrong, he is the COOLEST teacher in the history of cool teachers. I love him so much haha. But still, I see him WAY too often out of the classroom than should be necessary. Breakfast started with 2 natural eggs over easy instead of my usual scramble. Again, with only one yolk and some salt. Then I sliced 5 large strawberries and added the necessary cottage cheese to the mix, all yummy stuff here. When I got to school, they were having a pizza party downstairs! The temptation...the temptation! So much pizza lately! The first thing I'm gonna do when my first 17 days are up is eat a huge whole-wheat pizza. It really sucked because all the teachers and students kept asking me if I'd gotten pizza and I had to explain that, No, I hadn't since I'm on a diet. For lunch, my mother, sister, teacher, and I went to a Korean BBQ place that I had passed all the time, but had never been. My teacher recommended it, saying the food was good and they had reasonable prices. So, I ordered the chicken combo that came with rice (*gasp!*), fruit (*double gasp-it's after 2 pm!*), and veggies (*Yaaay*). I shared it with my sister-a.k.a. I had the chicken and veggies, she had a little bit of chicken, rice, and my mom had the fruit. It was really cool and my teacher was awesome as usual. The chicken wasn't bad either. And that was it for the day. When I got home I popped in 2 sticks of gum and 2 cups of chamomile tea. The second cup freaked me out because I legit thought there was an ant in my tea. didn't make it fun to drink out of afterwards. But it was all good. So, that was today! Almost done!

Today's wight: 123. 7 lbs (I don't really think I gained weight, I think I recorded the other measurement wrong...)

The 17 Day Diet-Day 12

So, I started off the day with some healthy eggs! :D 2 eggs scrambled, but only one yolk ..And yeah, a LITTLE bit of salt. Come on, I gotta have my tasty eggs in the morning. Then I rounded it all off with a black plum, which are so yummy. I just love the tangy skin! For lunch, I was craving Chipotle REALLY BADLY and we were gonna go (my head was filled with fantasies of salad bowls with beans and chicken), but...the line was CRAZY long and we were in a hurry. *cue tears of overwhelming sadness* Then I suggested we go to the Vietnamese Pho place right next door instead. I had, wait for it, FIVE shrimp spring rolls. Minus the shrimp, because I hate shrimp. And sushi. And fish. And seafood in general. The peanut sauce was scrumpdiliumptious and I had lots of veggies. Yeah, ok, I might ave cheated a little, because they're wrapped in paper rice...BUT WHATEVER. IT WAS MOSTLY HEALTHY. GOSH. Then, once I got home, I had A LOT of the leftover marinated chicken I made (Mmm, I'm an awesome cook). And for snacks I had 2 mozzarella cheese sticks. They're so fun to eat! That was about it for my eating adventures for that day!

Today's weight: 122.9 lbs (I THINK...I'm leaning more towards a miscalculation...)

Recipe for the perfect Genesis!

In the spirit of all the food, I thought I'd supply a recipe for your very own Genesis, since I know they're very in demand right now.

Ingredients:

• 5 cups Water
• 2 cups Fat
• 1 1/2 cup talent
• 3 cups self-deprecation
• 2 cups of tears
• 2 tablespoons of Whipped Cream (the dog)
• 7 cups of relationships to family, friends, and boys
• 3 cups of love
• 4 tablespoons of cynicism
• 1 teaspoon of naivete
• 3 teaspoons of shyness
• 4 tablespoons of Chemical X
• 4 tablespoons of Venezuela and Croatia
• 1 lock of hair
• 3 and one article of magazines and catalogs of clothes
• 1 cup chocolate
• 7 cups weirdness
• 4 1/2 cups of procrastination
• 6 cups of good music
• 1 tablespoon dorkiness
• 1 library full of books

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to Fahrenheit 451 degrees. Put all the ingredients except for cynicism and 1 cup of tears in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Pour in cupcake pan and put in the oven for 13 years. Take it out and add the cynicism and the other cup of tears. Put in the oven for 4 more years then let it out to cool. Cool until it’s too cool for school (or a pale-ish skin). Serve immediately after done. Serves about every person.

The 17 Day Diet- Day 11

God, this is so hard. I think I'm starving myself, I'm only eating 700 calories a day! Not because I WANT to go hungry, but because  I can't think of enough stuff to eat that won't make me fat! Dear lord, just let me be skinny already! And my goddamn mother is not helping. *sigh* So, for breakfast, I ate a plum and milk and those mozzarella string cheese sticks that are so amusing to eat. Then I made marinated grilled chicken breast myself! What, what! I added all the spices I wanted and it didn't turn out half bad. I think the way my mom did it was better, but hey! First time, k? K. So I had a few peices of those, since I couldn't have what my mom got for my brother and sister...-_- She got 3 frozen pizzas and cooked, not one, but TWO pepperoni pizzas for them to enjoy while I had to make my chicken. THE TORTURE. I'm telling you, I came THIS close to eating some. THIS. CLOSE. I don't think you understand how close, I needed to chew a whole packet of gum just to trick my tummy. Seriously, I was worse than a chain smoker, it was just gum stick after gum stick. Then I had more milk and more chicken for dinner, plus one more cheese stick. Even though it has high fructose syrup AND had fruits in it, I ate a Yoplait Light Strawberry yogurt. I'm sorry, I HAD to! I just need to be skinny, argh...I've been losing the weight, but not the fat. I'm gonna have to work out more...

Today's weight: 123.9 lbs

The 17 Day Diet- Day 10

Alright, so today I had a rushed morning so I ate 5 huge strawberries and cottage cheese and some milk to start off with. Since I was going to school, I'd be less likely to just lounge around and eat whatever is in my fridge. But, during lunch break, i was so hungry and tired I had to go eat something much more substantial. We went to Panera! I love that place, but it was total torture, seeing all that yummy bread and pastries I could have been having, but ultimately, couldn't. I had the You Pick Two special, with Caesar Salad (yes, with dressing. Some things I just can't NOT do!) and the delicious Creamy Tomato soup. I had the choice to have either a baguette (delicious), chips (meh), or apple (it was red, so yuck) as a side, so I went with red. Why tempt myself even further right? Both the tomato and salad came with croutons on top, but I just put them aside. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! XD Then, after getting home super late, I ate the last 3 little pieces of marinated chicken and 2 cups of Silk Almond Milk. Not much, but I've been getting by by just chomping down sticks of gum like a crazy horse, just chew, chew, chew, chew! Keeps my mind off wanting to eat. I'd LIKE to eat more, but I don't really know what's on or off limits! Well, hopefully tomorrow I'll eat more.

Today's weight: 124.2 lbs

The 17 Day Diet- Day 9

Again, didn't update! And I forgot to weigh myself for today! The hell is wrong with my lazy ass? Let's see if I can remember what I ate...breakfast was...OMG CHEATER! I ate a banana! Bad, Genesis, bad! I made a peanut butter and banana smoothie and i used one whole banana! Temptation won out :( Same recipe as last time, but with 2 tablespoons of honey instead of 1 and 1 ripe banana. It was so freaking delicious. Then for lunch I ate...chicken again, I think. And for dinner too...I really don't remember! What a pathetic little post. I'll update if I do remember!

***UPDATE***

Alright, I remember that we went to the beach! And since I couldn't eat fruits after 2 pm, I brought some baby carrot sticks and Mozzarella string cheese to snack on while I frolicked in the sand. That's all I could remember xD

The 17 Day Diet- Day 8

Another creative day! This morning I went crazy with the fruits. I ate some of the green apple slices and peanut butter from Traders Joe and a black plum. Yum. I paired that with chamomile tea and almond silk milk. Still, I wanted to take advantage of the fruits before 2 o'clock rule so I thought I'd get creative. I Googled (instead of Binged like my lame sister--Binged, really...) some recipes for a Peanut Butter smoothie. I found one, but it was with bananas, because peanut butter goes well with bananas, BUT  I can't eat bananas, so I was like THAT SHIT IS BANANAS, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! And decided to substitute it with strawberries. The recipe goes as follows: 2 (I made it 3) tablespoons of  creamy peanut butter (I used the Traders Joe one); 1 tablespoon of honey; 1 cup of milk (I used fat free); 3 strawberries. It makes about 1 1/2 cups of smoothie. First you add the peanut butter, honey, and strawberries in the blender and blend them for a bit. Then you add the milk and blend until it's frothy. You then serve and enjoy! I gotta say, the taste was a little weird at first! I think that peanut butter and strawberries are only allowed to mix when the strawberries are in jam form. Still, it was good. I was pretty proud of my creative epicness haha. Afterwards, I went with my dad grocery shopping so I could have something healthy to eat for once! I got eggs (omelet time), gum (for those gnawing stomach feelings), carrots (they prevent aging!), and post it notes (for inspirational "You'll be skinny one day!" notes. Once I got back home, my mom prepared me a salad with carrots, lettuce, mozzarella cheese pieces and lots of lime. I had that with the same chicken I had yesterday, so it made for a super good and filling meal. Plus my usual tea. I don't know how my bladders are handling all this liquid. No exercise for today, but it's OK. Maybe tomorrow? But I don't know...my weight loss has been stalling around 124 lbs, not a lot of weight loss going on...Let's hope my calorie counter wasn't right in saying that my weight loss would be stalled if I eat less than 1, 200 calories a day O.o

PS: Happy (?) 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks...never forget.

Today's weight: 124.9 lbs

The 17 Day Diet-Day 7

A week, my friends. I have gotten through the first week of this madness. So, started the day off getting a little creative. I Googled some ideas for a healthy Strawberry smoothie. In the end though, I just kinda did it all by myself. First I got 5 small strawberries from the bottom of the new pile, because I wanted to save the big, nice ones for the cottage cheese-fest I'm sure to have later. I washed them and put them in the blender. Then I added maybe 2 cups of fat free milk and a dollop of plain fat free yogurt and about a tablespoonful of cane sugar (the brown one). I blended it for a bit with some ice and that was it. It tasted a little bland, just creamy strawberries, but I thought of topping it with cinnamon powder. It really made a difference, plus cinnamon is super good for you. Bonus! After that I had 2 more bowls of that yummy lentil soup my mom had made. She likes to cook stuff in HUGE amounts, so we always have left overs. Something I've done a lot in this past week is eat the left overs. I usually don't do that, finding left overs to just be disgusting, but seeing as my options are limited, I just keep eating the same old things over and over again. It's a security thing. Anyhoo, after that, my mom and I decided to walk to Wal-Mart. The nearest Wal-Mart to us is about 2 miles from our house. So, even though we were just walking leisurely, we managed to burn 211 calories! Nice! We thought about buying a bicycle for $100, but in the end, my mom decided against it. I REALLY want a bicycle, but we have so much other stuff to spend 100 bucks on. It got dark and we didn't want to walk around at night (trust me, sometimes you get the most interesting characters after sunset), so we went and waited for my dad at the Yogurtland across from Wal-Mart. Now, Yougurtland is my place. I LOVE Yogurtland, it's WAY better than stupid Pinkberry or Tutti Fruitti or whatever non-chain place you go to. It's cheap and they have great flavors and toppings. Plus, right now they have this great promotion going on where their cups and spoons are all Hello Kitty inspired! Seriously. I love Yogurtland. Another reason why Yogurtland is so great is that they have really healthy and tasty yogurt over there, so I was able to have some! I got a little bit of French Vanilla and Red Velvet Cake Batter, both non fat and gluten free with only a little bit of sugar and calories. I topped it all off with chopped peanuts and walnuts, since I can't eat fruit after 2 pm. Yummy and nutritious! Oh, I forgot to mention that I bought a pack of gum while I was at Wal-Mart. I read online that a great way to keep your mind off your hunger is to chew gum, drink water, of go for a walk. I can do all three if I need to! And gum's only 5 calories with no sugar MUAHA. Now, when I got home, it was pretty late, but I decided to ask my mom to teach me how to do that delicious chicken she always does. I'm not a complete failure when it comes to cooking and after she explained, it turned out to be pretty easy. The only hard part is knowing which spices will make it taste better. So, first you grab a frozen chicken breast, douse it in water and put it in a pan. You then put about 1 lime worth of juice on it. Cover it up with aluminum foil and let it to just sit there cooking until it's soft. Then take it out of the pan and cut it up, still raw. Put it back in the pan and add the spices. I put garlic and herbs, parsley, cumin, salt, rosemary, and an all purpose one. Just really lay it on, the more the merrier, but of course, there's a limit. Just ball park it. Then let the cut up pieces of chicken simmer in the juice until they're thoroughly cooked and viola! Yummy marinated chicken breast! Look, I just provided not one but TWO recipes today! More bang for you buck! ...Even though this blog is free. Whatever, it's the thought that counts. I then ended with 2 cups of Almond Silk Milk and a cup of chamomile tea. Awesome stuff today.

Today's weight: 124. 9 lbs

The 17 Day Diet-Day 6

What a day, what a day. Alright so breakfast! I reverted back to my strawberries and cottage cheese routine, using up the last small, soggy strawberries left in the bin. Not TOO yummy, but hey, girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And yes, that means eat soggy strawberries. Tragic. Then I did something crazy. I. Went. Outside. And. Jogged. *Insert dramatic reveal music here* See, with me, I have to do it all in impulse. Like this diet, or this blog! All I decided to do on impulse. Of course there's always an underlying reason for my impulsion (blog-boredom and a place to just ponder, diet-revenge and self-confidence) So, i just decided to go out today and run. Didn't matter what time it was or anything, just put on some shorts and a tank and grabbed my dog, Whipped Cream. First of all, it was like 1:40 in the afternoon, so I was immediately blinded when I went outside. And it was pretty hot. It was hilarious because after some brisk walking and a few minutes of jogging, Creamy got tired. I jogged back home while carrying her and just left her inside, where my mom told me she just laid on the tiles and slept for a bit. Aww, poor baby. Hey, she's only a Maltese and she's getting old, gonna turn 4 in December. Anyhoo, I was pretty tired, too, but  itold myself I had to be out there for at least 30 minutes, walking or jogging. I put on Pandora and listened to some 70's rock. Then Journey's Don't Stop Believing came on! Perfect! I started fist pumping epically, think a few people might have seen me, and timed my jogging to match the "Don't stop, believing!" part. I felt pretty epic. Then Megan texted me to tell me that her initial 17 days are up! She can eat bread now! LET THE HALLELUJAH CHORUS SING! She told me it's only whole wheat, obviously, and that she won't really go crazy with it. The next 2 weeks will be maintenance just to keep off the weight, then she can eat like a normal person again! But her portions will be smaller so she won't turn into a Mcdonald's spokesperson once she's off the diet. So, after I got home from that 184-calorie-burning task, I got to eat some homemade yummy-ness. My mom made that delicious lemon marinated chicken breast I love so much and some damn good lentil bean soup. I had two bowls of the soup, it was so good and I needed the calories. Then I got to FINALLY watch The Help. I have the audio book and I love it, so I was so excited to see it. It's even cooler because one of the women who does the voice for the character of Minny on the audio book plays her in the movie! But, man, the smell of popcorn was almost too much. Still, I made it through and got home starving. I had a huge serving of the chicken breast with some herbal tea. Then a cup of that almond milk with honey. It was MM MM good!

Today's weight: 124.1 lbs

The 17 Day Diet-Day 5

Oops, got lazy last night and didn't update. No matter, I'll just make it look like I posted it last night MUAHA. So, yesterday I began with that yummy gluten free Trader's Joe peanut butter and green apples, with chamomile tea, honey, and lime, plus a cup of almond silk milk. YUM. For lunch, I did the unthinkable. I went to In N Out! I totally checked with Megan though, just to make sure it was OK. I got a protein style cheeseburger, which pretty much means it's the contents of a cheeseburger with a giant piece of lettuce wrapped around it instead of two buns. Very yummy and apparently nutritious, even though it's a little high on sodium. I had no fries (duh, plus they suck over at In N out) and no shake (another duh, but, again, they suck over there-I pretty much just go for the burgers). After my lunch, I had to go record a song in the studio. Whenever I record I always end up going to the bathroom at least 7 times, no exaggeration at all. I wound up drinking 2 medium size bottles of water and a super large cup of Lipton's tea with honey and lemon. Could not stop going all day. Then for dinner, off to a the Vietnamese! I LOVE pho, but it's full of noodles, so pho does not love me, but I made do with 3 spring rolls with shrimp. Now, I hate shrimp (and any sea food for that matter, which does not help my diet. Fish is super good for you), but whenever I eat spring rolls I always wind up giving them to the rest of my family, because they ALL love sea food. And mmm, their peanut sauce is so good! Plus some hoisin sauce, oh man I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Then I got home and rounded it all off with another tea. Yummy yummy in my tummy.


Today's weight: 125.9 lbs

I'm the shack, They're the mansion

You know what's a really sad feeling? The feeling of being passed over. Just...not as good as something else. Knowing that there will always be something or someone better than you, no matter what you do. It's because human appetite is one that was never meant to be satisfied. Whether it was have a bigger kill when we were cavemen to having the best house on the street nowadays. Always competing for more, no matter what you already have. I'm not above this either, obviously. I'm not a hypocrite. But still...when you're the tiny shack that people want to get out of so they can get to the mansion...it's a little depressing. You're a pretty good little shack, as shacks go, but still, what can a shack compare to a mansion? You'll never win.

Just a thought.

The 17 Day Diet- Day 4

Ugh, I think I might have cheated with out knowing it. Nah, probably not, but at least I'll know for sure with this new app Megan told me about! I put in my weight and how much I exercise and it calculates how much calorie intake I should have a day. It's called the Myfitnesspal App and it's awesome. I used it today for my mother and I. I enter our food intake (including restaurant food) and it tells you if you've gone over or not. My mom totally failed and went over but I didn't! I still have 370 calories remaining for today out of 1, 200 that I'm allowed. What what! But, I just checked and it said I might be in starvation mode O.o I'm not TRYING to be anorexic here! I'll need to make it 1, 200 even for tomorrow, if not it can slow down my metabolism and make me lose weight slower. So, for today I started off the morning weighing myself, as it's best to weigh yourself when you wake up. You get the most accurate results. Then I ate eggs! With cheese and ham! My mom only had yolks, as she used up all the whites before. Still, it was pretty good. Then I went to Trader's Joe and found healthy-yet yummy-peanut butter, my one true vice! It was gluten free, aw yeah! I was a little too excited. Then I got some sliced granny apples (because red ones suck, sorry) and made a yummy little snack/lunch. After a while, mom and I headed to Elephant Bar to grab some appetizers. I had a really delicious tomato basil soup (410 calories), while my mom had the chicken lettuce wraps. The wok chicken and lettuce wraps are deceptively healthy looking! I checked my app--2, 030 mg of sodium!! What the hell?! Sure it's 570 calories, but come on! It's not JUST about the calories. So, this app is really great for just keeping track. It seemed a little complicated and too much of a hassle at first, but it's turning out to be more useful than I expected. I'm really big on keeping it simple, none of that calorie calculating and writing down every little thing you eat and weighing your food--none of that. This app does a lot of it for me though, plus it's on my phone so I can just type in the into as I'm eating so I don't forget later. Then I can use it to update this blog! Win win! So, that's all for today. Tomorrow I vow to eat a little more! (Now that's something I didnt' expect to say while dieting...)

Today's weight: 126.4 lbs

Cynical Ponderings on Fairytales

We interrupt our daily diet with a message from our sponsers:

FAIRY TALES SUCK. That is all.

No, but seriously. This is something I've wondered for a while, nor am I the first or will be the last to think these things. Recently, I reread one of my favorite books, Ella Enchanted, on a whim. I got it when I was in 3rd grade and have loved it ever since. It's a truly refreshing take on the story Cinderella. When I was little, I didn't even realize it was Cinderella, but maybe because I wasn't that bright. I don't know. You guys might know the title Ella Enchanted from the Disney movie with Anne Hathaway. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Anne Hathaway and the movie was cute and clever in it's own right, but please, PLEASE, do NOT compare that movie to the book. Do not. I will hurt you. They are two very separate things. The book is really much more complex, romantic, and funny than a "kids" book should be. It deals with a girl, Ella, who is given the gift of obedience and her quest to break the spell. Along the way, she meets Prince Char and they become friends. After a series of adventures, she's stuck with her odious step mother and sisters and she writes to Char while he's abroad. This is where one of my favorite exchanges happen:

Dear Ella,

        Impatience is not usually my weakness. But your letters torment me. They make me long to saddle my horse and ride to Frell [their city], where I would make you explain yourself. They are playful, interesting, thoughtful, and (occasionally) serious. I'm overjoyed to receive them, yet they bring misery. You say little of your daily life; I have no idea how you occupy yourself. I don't mind; I enjoy guessing at the mystery. But what I really long to know you do not tell either: what you feel, although I've given you hints by the score of my regard. You like me. You wouldn't waste time or paper on a being you didn't like. But I think I've loved you since we met at your mother's funeral. I want to be with you forever and beyond, but you write that you are too young to marry, or too old or too short or too hungry--until I crumple your letters up in despair, only to smooth them out again for a twelfth reading, hunting for hidden meanings. Father asks frequently in his letters whether I fancy any Ayorthanian [country where he's at] young lady or any in our acquaintance at home. I say no. I suppose I'm confessing another fault: pride. I don't want him to know I love if my affections are not returned. You would charm him, and Mother too. They would be yours completely. As I am. What a beautiful bride you'll be, whomever you marry at whatever age. And what a queen if I am the man! Who has your grace? Your expression? Your voice? I could extol your virtues endlessly, but I want you to finish reading and answer me quickly. Today I cannot write of Ayortha or my doings or anything. I can only post this and wait.

Love (it is such relief to pen the world), love, love--Char
 
That last line is my favorite. OK, tell me you didn't sigh with envy? Only me? Great. Now, explain to me this: how could this be considered poisonous for a young, naive 3rd grade girl? By the way they make it sound that any relationship will come out like this or that any guy will write you something like that or that it's OK if you write something like this to a boy! Guess what, little 3rd  grade me, it doesn't work that way. And sometimes I STILL have to remind myself of that in present day. This completely unrealistic portrayal of love has made me very disappointed in life. Sure, you can say that's my own fault for being so damn romantic, but you know that's not true. Disney has easily made bank of teaching little girls to wait for Prince Charming. Go take a listen to Sara Bareilles' song "Fairytale" to get a hint of what I'm getting at:

Cinderella's on the bedroom floor, she's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
But Mr. Charming don't come home anymore, and she forgets why she came here

Sing it, girl. All I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't be instilling these ideas into young girls. It really can affect them. It's screwed up many a relationship of mine. How? By expecting too much. Like Twilight! You hear these girls wanting an Edward and breaking up with their boyfriends because they're not sophisticated or insanely committed. They're teenage guys. The only thing they're committed to is porn and xbox. We girls know this, but still! We're caught up in the fantasy of the possibility of having the love that these characters have, of having that happily ever after. Now, I'm not saying that we should all become sluts and lead our lives like those in Gossip Girl, but we DO need to teach realistic love, not idealistic. It hurts, but in the end, it'll be so much better.

The 17 Day Diet-Day 3

Trudge on, lads, trudge on! So, same thing in the morning, strawberries and cottage cheese. I was planning on eating the same for tomorrow, but I'm getting sick of it. Best not have too much of a good thing. Then we went to Ikea (surprise surprise--my friend Megan thinks I should go to the doctor for my apparent obsession with the Swedish furniture store), but this time I really didn't want to go. I was totally craving some chicken in lettuce wraps from either Elephant Bar of California Pizza Kitchen. But, as Ikea sells relatively edible food at cheap prices, my mom insisted on going there. I made the mistake of trying something new and uncharted-The Greek Salad-KNOWING that I hate tomatoes, onions, and olives. And they pretty much made up the salad. I thought it could be mind over matter, just force myself to eat it. Yeah...that didn't work so well. I ended up only eating the lettuce and feta cheese, while everyone else ate delicious pasta and freaking pastries like chocolate-freaking-cake in front of me! My mom was pissed that she pretty much wasted $4 on a salad I didn't eat, and I just ended up feeling starved. But, what's a better way to distract a starving stomach? Another starving stomach! Megan's to be specific! At least...I think she was starving. I got to meet up with my friend who I'm doing the diet with for the first time since May. Needless to say, we squealed and hugged and complained how much dieting sucks and relished on how awesome we would look once we were done. In that order. Tip: It's so much more fun to have someone suffering with you when you're doing exercise or diets. You support each other and you'll always have someone to "Yeah, I know how you feel" with. After pretty much talking about boys and saying weird things and taking pictures and listing more lists without commas, my friend and I parted. I got home and my mom made me the same delicious chicken breast as yesterday. So yummy. Add that with another cup of tea and water and that's my nutrition intake for the day. Until tomorrow!

Today's weight: 131.1 lbs

The 17 Day Diet-Day 2

Today was Day 2 of the diet I'm trying out and I swear, my mother is TRYING to get me to cheat or something. We went to Ikea and had to deal with all the yummy Swedish foods, plus my mother bought Swedish pancakes, which I love! But they're a big no no. So, there they are. Staring at me in the freezer. Just daring me to go heat them up with some honey. Goddamn you. Anyhoo, I didn't fail. This morning I ate strawberries again with cream cheese. I think I'll be doing this until the strawberries run out, then I'll switch to apples. Then my mom made black beans. I wasn't sure if I could eat them or not, because they're technically carbs, even though they're filled with protein and nutrients. I checked with Megan, my now go-to diet guru, and she said she and her mom have been living off of beans. Alright, sweet, beans are good, if a bit gassy :P. So, I ate a bowl. Then I had Japanese herbal tea. After the Ikea torture, I heated up the delicious grilled chicken breast my mom had made earlier, marinated with lemon and Rosemary. My mouth's watering and I just ate it. I accompanied it with some flaxseed and water for fiber and Japanese tea again. And that was it! So far, so good. I'm just worried about tomorrow, where I'll be out all day and be forced to eat out. I'll have to put my will pier to the test. It's just so easy to slip up at restaurants!

Today's weight: 133.4 lbs

PS: Happy Labor Day for all you employed and pregnant individuals out there! :D

The 17 Day Diet

It's been almost a year since I've come on here! One of my great friends, Megan, has started a new diet called "The 17 Day Diet" and has already seen results. And I really need to lose the weight, so I've decided to do it myself! I've "tried" to do diets before, but all to no avail. Probably because I'm super lazy and undisciplined. Hey, at least I admitted it. So, to help me in this task, I've decided to use this old thing again to track my progress. Better than Facebook or Twitter anyway.

The Diet:

So, there's a few guidelines. First, I can't have any bread or heavy carbs like potatoes for 17 days. I also can't have bananas, but other fruits are OK, but only if I eat them before 2 pm. Dairy products are also fine to eat, but everything in moderation, of course. The only sure things I'm allowed to live off of are veggies, grilled chicken, and fish (ugh). I'm also supposed to drink green tea in the morning, but my parents are under the impression that it's cancerous, so I can't drink it. But I CAN drink Japanese herbal tea and chamomile tea. Chamomile is my recent food obsession, with cinnamon, honey, and lime. Mmm. So, after the 17 days, then I'm allowed to eat carbs, but only whole wheat (which I did anyway).This is the plan I'll be sticking to.


Day One:

Yesterday was my Day 1! And somehow I made it. In the morning I ate strawberries with cream cheese. for lunch, my family and I went to Souplantation (also known as Sweet Tomato-at least in Texas). It's got a huge salad bar, a soup bar, and also a lot of delicious bread options (sweet, sweet temptation). I piled my plate with Caesar salad, lettuce, spinach, carrots, and corn (the only veggies  I can stomach). Luckily for me, the only soup I ever like that they serve there (lemon chicken) was actually being served for once! Usually it's only in April. Still, I had to pass the basket of muffins and the delectable pastas to get to my chair. Somehow, I made it! After we got home, my mom, brother, and sister took off to go to the beach and my dad left for work. The easiest time for me to pig out is when I'm left all alone, especially if I know something yummy is being hidden, In this case it was a pack of Nutter Butters, just waiting for me to munch on them. Yet, I resisted and just grabbed some walnuts and lots of cups of water. I still have no idea how I did it. But I did! So, with day one done and I didn't cave in at all, it's a pretty good outlook. I'll keep you all updated with my progress.

PS: Starting Weight-131. 5 lbs