My birthday

Sucked.

Well, OK, I tried making the most awesome party ever (think Hunger Games nerf battle in the park), but due to a bunch of shitty reasons, it didn't happen. Everything that could go wrong did, so my birthday was less than spectacular. Then when I just didn't want to acknowledge my birthday and make things easier for everyone, my mom then decided that she should make up for lack of great birthday-ness. Thus making it ever worse. In the end, I got two cakes I didn't want (but ended up being delicious, so plus); a very boring horseback riding trail; bowling; the coolest pair of 70's bell bottom jeans. There we go.

I guess it's fitting that my 18th birthday was so shitty. I mean, what else can truly show you what being a legal adult is like than having almost no friends and a half-hearted attempt at a birthday party? YAY ADULTHOOD!

Original Yo Momma Jokes

So, my sister and I literally spent an hour or more thinking of Hunger Games "Yo Momma" jokes. There's ONE Avengers one in there. Enjoy! (And please, give credit where is due if you ever use them in a battle. :P)

• Yo momma is so huge, Nick Fury asked her to join the Avengers instead of The Hulk.
• Yo momma is so ugly, District 13 used her to threaten President Snow.
• Yo momma is so nasty, she's the reason the first rebellion started; no district wanted her.
• Yo momma is so ugly, Katniss mistook her for a mutt.
• Yo momma is so ugly, she's the reason Haymitch drinks. (Credit to Vicky)
• Yo momma is so fat, District 8 ran out of materials when Cinna tried to make her a dress.
• Yo momma is so stupid, she rigged the Reaping, thinking that it was a raffle (Vicky)
• Yo momma is so ugly, she's the reason Annie went crazy.
• Yo momma is so annoying, she became the new Effie.
• Yo momma is so fat, when she stepped on a Capitol train, she slowed it down.
• Yo momma is so ugly, Glimmer after the Tracker Jackers still looked prettier. (Vicky)
• Yo momma is so gassy, her fart caused the mine explosion that killed Katniss's dad.
• Yo momma is so fat, District 12 wishes they could've used her as a bomb shelter. 
• Yo momma is so fat, Katniss ran out of animals in the forest to feed her.
• Yo momma is so ugly, Peeta passed out trying to paint her.
• Yo momma is so fat, when she swan in District 4, Finnick thought she was a whale. 
• Yo momma is so fat, she ate so much that she ran Greasy Sae out of business. (Vicky)
• Yo momma's farts are so deadly, they were actually the gas that killed Mags.